... Arrey kaash meri in aankhon ki ab roshni bujh jaaye,
Maine dekha tha jo khwaab woh mujhko na kabhi yaad aaye...

Time for a few small repairs...

I was not planning on writing this. Its one of those things i couldn't help think about but i had promised myself - i absolutely DO NOT need to write / talk about every single thing i angst about .. but well like Soul Asylum says.. "One more promise i couldn't keep."

So here goes .. all i had to vent through the week :

1. Why do you naturally assume i will behave badly in a not-so-regular situation? Is that really how stupid i appear to you! Do i really need to be told 3 times that i should behave a certain way when i meet you in a different context!

2. If i admit to a weakness to someone - its because i think i can - which means i laugh and this someone laughs .. and the joke ends there. If you laugh about it when i am not laughing - you're just being mean.

3. Venting does not mean that i can't take care of a problem. I lived 28 years without your help - i can make the next week as well. Venting is what i need you for - solving i can do all by myself - Thank you very much!

Funny, you'd think i'd feel better after saying all that...

And its here...

This warrants a post.. i finally have my new car. Its a black, very cool looking santro.

I drove it home last night and it wasnt as bad as i thought it would be even though G had to rescue me oh so many times even at 1130 pm in the night.

It is currently parked outside my house in a non-shielded park place with its butt jutting out more than it should be - and like every other half-important thing in my life - its giving me sleepless nights. Yes, I am still terrified of driving - even more so now that its here.

i soo badly want to drive and be brave enough to drive and not be overwhelmed by having bought a car and not be telling everybody about how the fear is killing me. I want to be someone else for a few days... and whizz past town confidently and just be able to enjoy it!

Arrghh!

8th March, Thu, 6:43 am

I am writing this from office.. which means i am in office at 643 am!!!
I should have been in a flight to Mumbai but i am not - because Air Deccan delayed its 5:55 am flight... Not just delayed mind you, delayed by 6 hours! So now the bloody thing will leave only at 1130 am!!

I cannot begin to tell you how frustrated i am. Was at friends place last night - got home only by 11, packed and slept only by midnight. Cab guy who was supposed to show up by 420 calls me up at 330 am to ask for directions to home.. proceeds to get it wrong anyway and keeps calling till 410 am which is when he actually reaches.. so BASICALLY i have had about 3 hours of sleep.. i am in office and i have a v. short holiday which has been cut short by another half a day..

Not fair..I really just want to sleep :(

everybody loved him.. everybody disapeared..

Since i brought up Jerry Maguire - i should tell you i liked the movie...
so here are some memorable lines from it..

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Dorothy: I love him! I love him for the man he wants to be. And I love him for the man he almost is.
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Ray: D'you know that the human head weighs 8 pounds?
Jerry Maguire: Did you know that Troy Aikman, in only six years, has passed for 16,303 yards?
Ray: D'you know that bees and dogs can smell fear?
Jerry Maguire: Did you know that the career record for hits is 4,256 by Pete Rose who is NOT in the Hall of Fame?
Ray: D'you know that my next door neighbor has three rabbits?
Jerry Maguire: I... I can't compete with that!
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Jerry Maguire: What do you want from me? My soul?
Dorothy: Why not? I deserve that much.
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Dicky Fox: Hey... I don't have all the answers. In life, to be honest, I have failed as much as I have succeeded. But I love my life. I love my wife. And I wish you my kind of success.

i-n-s-p-i-r-e

Watched Flags of our Fathers this weekend... Not bad! Not superlative either..
I know me a little better now.. so i know i don't need the bloody reality of it.. am quite happy with the romanticized version. Not to say this one wasn't romanticized- but i could do with more! Which explains why i particularly liked the ending speech, i guess - "... they might have fought for their countries, but they died for their friends.."

..To quote Dorothy from Jerry Maguire - "I just want to be inspired".

The word is disquiet..

Still with the feeling.. but now i have a word for it..
disquiet: lack of calm, peace or ease; anxiety; uneasiness

Funny the feeling should persist inspite of meeting Mr. S etc.
You'd think that should have considerably un-disquieted me.. or is it quieted me?
Well, it hasn't..