Communication. It's the first thing we really learn in life. Funny thing is, once we grow up, learn our words and really start talking the harder it becomes to know what to say. Or how to ask for what we really need.


- Meredith Grey

My dear dear J,

Yesterday was our 2 year "Proposal anniversary"
(I wonder if other people also have anniversaries like that)

My guess is that your memory of that night can't be very nice, thanks to my very freaked out reaction to the proposal. I am sorry for that.

You should know though that i had the most incredible experience that night,
Something i never expected to happen to me - did.
Someone i loved asked me to marry him...
& not just asked, mind you - asked on bended knee, with a ring and wine ...
Thank you baby for making my memory of the proposal so so special.

In the last year of being married, we have been through 3 trials (i think we have consensus on this) and dealt with it better than okay...
and even though the miscarriage is only a week old (i have decided that its okay to talk about this), i still recognise that while i would rather have had things work out differently, now that they haven't, i am only grateful that i am dealing with this situation with you.

So j-boy... 2 and something years of being with each other, and 1 year of marriage later, i know today what a good decision i made 25th Aug 2007, when i said "YES".


With All My love,
A
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p.s.: don't worry about this being a public forum. only 4 people visit...
and they'll be okay with anything. Trust me.

i take longer to put detergent in the washing machine,
longer to hang clothes - clipping each item to the clothes line with more care thean i normally would
i take a bath slowly, trying to get cleaner than i normally would
apply more cream and more patiently than i normally would..

is your life also slower & more careful when you are sad? like you just could not afford to be careless with any task.

I Left This Morning
~ by Peter Bland

I left this morning saying 'I love you'
as if setting out for some unknown country
instead of the corner shop. I wanted
you to be sure, in case
this time - out of, say, 10,000 departures
I never made it back: although
after 50 years together, 2 countries,
3 children, and several former journeys
that would put this one to shame
you'd think there'd be no need to pause
on my own doorstep, suddenly afraid
of the distance between us, of your absolute beauty,
of the growing aloneness when I clicked the latch