21 days to go for the wedding..
& i think i am in suprisingly good shape..
- i have a pivot-able excel sheet of invites (with email invites and physical invites marked out separately and with % applied to get to how many people will actually show up - its vunderrful!),
- have done almost all shopping (~90% through i would say),
- grub decided,
- money paid out to most vendor people
and yet am just a little anxious.. not sure if its coz i have missed something or if this is what they call cold feet.

Random poem by obscure person (i think).. but oh so lovely!

When first I loved
- Taj Mahjomed (Translated in to English by Laurence Hope)

WHEN first I loved, I gave my very soul
Utterly unreserved to Love's control,
But Love deceived me, wrenched my youth away
And made the gold of life forever grey.

Long I lived lonely, yet I tried in vain
With any other Joy to stifle pain;
There is no other joy, I learned to know,
And so returned to Love, as long ago.
Yet I, this little while ere I go hence,
Love very lightly now, in self-defense.

I went to foreign..

Enjoyed NY tremendously... but have to admit happy to be back.
The high point was the broadway play.. watched 'The Phantom of the Opera'.
I have not seen anything like it before and NOTHING could have prepared me for the sheer scale of production. I loved it!!!

We've been told he's a labrador.. Not looking anything like one yet - but we paid for a lab so thats what he is!
He is called Archie by the by (Thank you - but i already know he is black).
I had only suggested that my parents name the dog after a cartoon character
coz our 1st dog was called Dennis PLUS my parents had already told me they wanted to call him "something simple like Jimmy or Tommy".
If you knew anything about my life - you would see the humour in that line!

Achcha, i have a new theory which i must share.
There is a drama pie in everybodys life which indicates the emotion+drama quotient based on historcal data (fact)and somewhere unwittingly people design their lives to match up to this pie (theory).

What i mean is - if your life this far has had 10% drama in it - you will create 10% drama in the remaining portion of your life and similarly for all other emotions.
Even the portions of your life that are circumstance based and have caused pain - you will get used to having that pain in your life and will create that much pain in the rest of your life.

(my pie looks like this: love - 20%; comedy - 10%; limbo - 25%; tragedy - 12%;
bizarre & psycho type - 8%; intense un-scripted drama - 8%, anger - 7%,
hysteria - 5%, paranoia - 5%.)

Today i think is the 1st day of the winter - all the signs were there .. nip in the air, couldnt wake up in the morning etc... I hate the winters!

They say only the paradnoid survive...
I am going to live to be a 100!!

My dear dear M, my partner in crime, my other half, my very often better half..
This is for you.

As always when i hung up after speaking to you, I was grateful that i had you to speak to... Amused that we are such bitches... Happy that 1 billion re-runs of conversation later, you and me are still interesting to us...
Warmed at the thought that for every nonsense plan of mine - i will always have a supporter.. who may not say, "go for it", but will say, "have fun".

You're the best-est babe!!
All my love.

Gumshuda

I happened to watch DD1 for a bit - they were showing the "Lapatta" list. And it occured to me that i have not seen that piece of news in the longest time - since cable tv actually.
Shocking! 10+ news channels. Correction - thats 10+ 24 hours news channels.. and no lapatta list!
we can cover the gates of prateeksha during the abhi-ash wedding for 2 whole weeks - but we can't cover the missing persons list!

I guess it would be impossible to expect that i should not have accumulated any baggage.. it has been a long enough life!
you now no longer deal with just me, you deal with me times 28.. thats too much of me.. even for me to carry.. but i guess its a good start to recognise that some of this (me) is baggage.. and i would walk freer, lighter and swing my arms better without it.

A Short Poem by Peter Griffin

A cold evening

Drifts down from the Aravallis.

One ear stays warm.

Science would insist

That it's a cheap phone Heating up.

I know what it really is:

You called

To share the sunset.

I was telling J last evening.. unlike other drivers who seem to want to get from point A to point B - that does'nt seem to be my objective at all.. i drive with the objective of avoiding any on-coming traffif.. so for instance, i see car coming up ahead and quickly take left, a few more of these lefts later i discover i have come full circle...

i eventually get to where i am going .. but its not because i tried at all.. profound eh!?!

I've been told that most cultures have a saying which is the equivalent of "Squeaking doors get the oil". In India the equivalent is apparently, "The crying baby gets the milk"...

I've been told, the Chinese have a saying, "The nail that stands out gets hammered".

Found that very very interesting..

Fe fo fi fum.. i smell happiness.
or is it too early to proclaim..
maybe - but in the spirit of the moment etc - i am happy.. and this is momentous!

ATLAS
- Kay Ryan

Extreme exertion
isolates a person
from help,
discovered Atlas.
Once a certain
shoulder-to-burden
ratio collapses,
there is so little
others can do:
they can't
lend a hand
with Brazil
and not stand
on Peru.

Found this on cousins blog .. so pretty..

God Says Yes To Me
- Kaylin Haught

I asked God if it was okay to be melodramatic,
and she said yes
I asked her if it was okay to be short,
and she said - it sure is
I asked her if I could wear nail polish,
or not wear nail polish,
and she said honey
she calls me that sometimes,
she said you can do just exactly,
what you want to,
Thanks God I said
And is it even okay if I don't paragraph,
my letters
Sweetcakes God said
who knows where she picked that up
what I'm telling you is
Yes Yes Yes

One of my all time favourite hindi romantic songs...

Phoolon ke rang se, Dil ki kalam se, tujh ko likhi roz paati,
Kaise batao, kis kis tarah se, Pal pal mujhe tu satati ..

Tere hi sapne lekar ke soya, Teri hi yaadon mein jaaga
Tere khayaalon mein uljha raha yun, Jaise ke mala mein dhaaga

Haan~~ Badal Bijli Chandan Paani - jaisa apna pyaar, Lena hoga janam hume kai kai baar Haan~~ Itna madir, Itna madhur tere mera pyaar, Lena hoga janam hume kai kai baar
-
Saanson ki sargam, dhadkan ki beena, sapnon ki geetanjali tu,
Man ki gali mein mehke jo har dum, Aisi juhi ki kali tu

Chota safar ho, lamba safar ho, Sooni dagar ho ya mela
Yaad tu aaye man ho jaaye bheed ke beech akela

Haan~~ Badal Bijli Chandan Paani - jaisa apna pyaar, Lena hoga janam hume kai kai baar Haan~~ Itna madir, Itna madhur tere mera pyaar, Lena hoga janam hume kai kai baar
-
Purab ho Pachhim Uttar ho Dakshin, Tu har jagah muskuraaye
Jitna hi jaaon main door tujh se, Utni hi tu paas aaye

Aandhi ne roka, Paani ne toka, Duniya ne hans kar pukara
Tasveer teri lekin liye main ghar aaya sabse kinara

Haan~~ Badal Bijli Chandan Paani - jaisa apna pyaar, Lena hoga janam hume kai kai baar Haan~~ Itna madir, Itna madhur tere mera pyaar, Lena hoga janam hume kai kai baar
...Kai Kai Baar...Kai Kai Baar
-------------------------------------------------------------------

Invictus

Out of the night that covers me,
Black as the Pit from pole to pole,
I thank whatever gods may be
For my unconquerable soul.

In the fell clutch of circumstance
I have not winced nor cried aloud.
Under the bludgeonings of chance
My head is bloody, but unbowed.

Beyond this place of wrath and tears
Looms but the Horror of the shade,
And yet the menace of the years
Finds, and shall find, me unafraid.

It matters not how strait the gate,
How charged with punishments the scroll.
I am the master of my fate:
I am the captain of my soul.

- William Ernest Henley

My inspired thought for this week...

I went for a training this week and and in one section of the training the coach (Michael Dale) was talking about negotiation.

He narrated a very simple story of someone who wanted to buy a grandfather clock. A grandfather clock is an expensive purchase - the approximate price for one is about $10,000. This one guy decides he absolutely has to have one and starts saving up to buy it.
Over the course of a few months he manages to save the money and decides, "Its time to go shopping for that clock!". He sees this beautiful antique piece at a store and gets in to take a good look and decides - its perfect!! So he goes up to the storekeeper and asks him for the price. The store keeper says, "$9000."
Our man is thinking, "Wow, that is a steal!" but he doesnt want to buy that easy without even a shot at negotiation. So he starts giving the storekeeper this whole shpeel, "You know as i was looking at that clock i noticed it was really dusty .. and it had a few scratches. I also noticed the price tag was quite faded. It looks like this piece has not only been here for really long.. it has not been taken care off that well. I am quite uncomfortable paying that kind of money for this clock. I'll tell you what though - I am going to make you a great offer... I will pay you $8000 ..All cash of course right away. But no more than that.."
The shopkeeper without batting an eyelid says immediately - "Done!"

The question Michael asked us was - "Do you think the guy left the shop feeling satisfied?"
The answer is very obvious - No he would not be satisfied.
And the reason for that is primarily because he was DENIED THE PROCESS of negotiating.
He was denied the whole 3 act drama of the storekeeper saying - "Ohl but how will i feed my wife and kids! I will make absolutely no margin if i sell to you at that price ! (storekeeper holding head in hands) I absolutely can't." etc etc. And then finally of watching the storekeeper appear to come around to your price.
That is the process that we all understand and expect.. anything less and of course we feel cheated!

I couldn't stop thinking about that story and creating analogies in other contexts.
So i was thinking I've heard this one phrase quite often - "Men like the chase better than the catch".
Newsflash 1- Thats not true just for men by the way, thats true for all people.
Newsflash 2: Its not because we are mercenary - its because we understand that like all good things in life romance is a process. When you come too easily (naughty naughty anna!! and bad bad pun!!) you are denying me the PROCESS OF PLAYING THE ROMANCE GAME' with you.. of wondering if you like me, of second guessing you, of the banter, of being coy with you .. i could go on!
Of course we feel cheated!!