For all the anti-firangness of the Raj Thakeray's of the world, they seem to have inherited The most angrez thing of all of us.. "Divide and Rule"
... Dividing the Hindus from the Non-Hindus from the Maharashtrians from the....
Ironic huh!

I don't know the price of a single thing - not eggs, not bread, not milk, not onions, not fish!
Friend of mine said he was very suprised to find that bread costed Rs.17 - he says the last time he bought it, it was Rs.12!
So I suspect a lot of people i know are as clueless.

i guess a large part of the problem is that we all largely shop in super markets and just drop whatever we want in the trolley ..no price checking, nothing!
Its sad! My parents still talk about prices, how they are rising, where they buy from.
And me...i just dont know any better!

I discovered this book called "The Secret" recently.
Its about how we invite the life we have by thinking about the life we want. (something to that effect). J pointed out interesting quote by Mr.Ford .. "Whether you think you can, or you can't - Either way you're right!".
Nice huh!

Just so you know i wrote about something VAGGUELY similar in long-ago blog

And And And... In my 1st ever blog, i wrote "..When death has once entered in to a house, it alomost invariably returns immediately, as if it knew the way" - Guy De Maupassant. This one is from a short story called 'The Mad Woman'. Just thought this was so true .. about death, grief.. everything!"
I am going to say this one more time - when an emotion knows the way to your house/heart - it will find its way back.. unerringly, everytime!

Harry Potter is this generations response to Lewis Carroll..

Its got insights on everything - death, dreams, standing up for what is right, fear of the unknown, imagination, love conquering all.. really just everything.

Here's some from Albus Dumbledore

"After all, to the well-organized mind, death is but the next great adventure."

"It does not do to dwell on dreams and forget to live"

"It takes a great deal of bravery to stand up to our enemies, but just as much to stand up to our friends."

"Say 'Voldermort' Harry. Always refer to things by their proper name. Fear of the name increases fear of the thing itself.
It is the unknown we fear when we look upon death and darkness, nothing more."

"Of course it is happening inside your head, Harry, but why on earth should that mean that it is not real? "

"It is our choices Harry that show what we really are . Far more than our abilities"

These days people are always asking me how it feels to be married and i really dont know how to respond... "Feels good" is what i say coz it does.
Always feel like they are expecting longer answer though.

So here's my long answer:

In some ways - Nothing has changed. I havent. My lifestyle hasn't.
And yet EVERYTHING has changed. I live in a new place. I dont live alone anymore. There are many boy things around my place and its no longer just me i think of - there is always a "+family" to think of.
All very very new to me.

I should add here i like being married .. new-ness and all!
i like not having to budget for time,
to not have to wonder "where is this relationship going",
to have my life fall in to a more set pattern - a new pattern but a pattern nonetheless.
I like the knowledge that the parents love the boy ... and did not hesitate to take him aside after wedding and say, "she sometimes throws tantrums - so watch out for that!"
i sometimes wonder if this will last - this whole new "all looking good" place or will life kick in and demand some angst.. but i guess (hope?) thats for later..
for now - i like being married.

The deed is done

21 days to go for the wedding..
& i think i am in suprisingly good shape..
- i have a pivot-able excel sheet of invites (with email invites and physical invites marked out separately and with % applied to get to how many people will actually show up - its vunderrful!),
- have done almost all shopping (~90% through i would say),
- grub decided,
- money paid out to most vendor people
and yet am just a little anxious.. not sure if its coz i have missed something or if this is what they call cold feet.

Random poem by obscure person (i think).. but oh so lovely!

When first I loved
- Taj Mahjomed (Translated in to English by Laurence Hope)

WHEN first I loved, I gave my very soul
Utterly unreserved to Love's control,
But Love deceived me, wrenched my youth away
And made the gold of life forever grey.

Long I lived lonely, yet I tried in vain
With any other Joy to stifle pain;
There is no other joy, I learned to know,
And so returned to Love, as long ago.
Yet I, this little while ere I go hence,
Love very lightly now, in self-defense.

I went to foreign..

Enjoyed NY tremendously... but have to admit happy to be back.
The high point was the broadway play.. watched 'The Phantom of the Opera'.
I have not seen anything like it before and NOTHING could have prepared me for the sheer scale of production. I loved it!!!

We've been told he's a labrador.. Not looking anything like one yet - but we paid for a lab so thats what he is!
He is called Archie by the by (Thank you - but i already know he is black).
I had only suggested that my parents name the dog after a cartoon character
coz our 1st dog was called Dennis PLUS my parents had already told me they wanted to call him "something simple like Jimmy or Tommy".
If you knew anything about my life - you would see the humour in that line!

Achcha, i have a new theory which i must share.
There is a drama pie in everybodys life which indicates the emotion+drama quotient based on historcal data (fact)and somewhere unwittingly people design their lives to match up to this pie (theory).

What i mean is - if your life this far has had 10% drama in it - you will create 10% drama in the remaining portion of your life and similarly for all other emotions.
Even the portions of your life that are circumstance based and have caused pain - you will get used to having that pain in your life and will create that much pain in the rest of your life.

(my pie looks like this: love - 20%; comedy - 10%; limbo - 25%; tragedy - 12%;
bizarre & psycho type - 8%; intense un-scripted drama - 8%, anger - 7%,
hysteria - 5%, paranoia - 5%.)

Today i think is the 1st day of the winter - all the signs were there .. nip in the air, couldnt wake up in the morning etc... I hate the winters!

They say only the paradnoid survive...
I am going to live to be a 100!!

My dear dear M, my partner in crime, my other half, my very often better half..
This is for you.

As always when i hung up after speaking to you, I was grateful that i had you to speak to... Amused that we are such bitches... Happy that 1 billion re-runs of conversation later, you and me are still interesting to us...
Warmed at the thought that for every nonsense plan of mine - i will always have a supporter.. who may not say, "go for it", but will say, "have fun".

You're the best-est babe!!
All my love.

Gumshuda

I happened to watch DD1 for a bit - they were showing the "Lapatta" list. And it occured to me that i have not seen that piece of news in the longest time - since cable tv actually.
Shocking! 10+ news channels. Correction - thats 10+ 24 hours news channels.. and no lapatta list!
we can cover the gates of prateeksha during the abhi-ash wedding for 2 whole weeks - but we can't cover the missing persons list!

I guess it would be impossible to expect that i should not have accumulated any baggage.. it has been a long enough life!
you now no longer deal with just me, you deal with me times 28.. thats too much of me.. even for me to carry.. but i guess its a good start to recognise that some of this (me) is baggage.. and i would walk freer, lighter and swing my arms better without it.

A Short Poem by Peter Griffin

A cold evening

Drifts down from the Aravallis.

One ear stays warm.

Science would insist

That it's a cheap phone Heating up.

I know what it really is:

You called

To share the sunset.

I was telling J last evening.. unlike other drivers who seem to want to get from point A to point B - that does'nt seem to be my objective at all.. i drive with the objective of avoiding any on-coming traffif.. so for instance, i see car coming up ahead and quickly take left, a few more of these lefts later i discover i have come full circle...

i eventually get to where i am going .. but its not because i tried at all.. profound eh!?!

I've been told that most cultures have a saying which is the equivalent of "Squeaking doors get the oil". In India the equivalent is apparently, "The crying baby gets the milk"...

I've been told, the Chinese have a saying, "The nail that stands out gets hammered".

Found that very very interesting..