I feel very very tired. I think of this almost constantly through the day and in the middle of the most mundane activities, it will suddenly come to me .."So Tired".
I am going to recount what keeps me going because i think i really need to remember.
- Amma, Appa, Acha and Sofi are fine and love me in the kind of biased, blind-sided way only familes can. And Archie - what can i say, more blind-sided love!
- J. "Just J". Always checking in on me - breakfast, drinking enough water, fresh air... Its wonderful to have someone think about the small things for you.
- The rest of my family - Mummy, Gina and Prashanth - who don't appear to know what to do with all the tiredness but i can see it concerns them. And for their concern and for their not bringing it up - i am grateful.
- Calvin. who doesnt give a rat's ass about me being tried or sleepy or anything.. as long as he gets to lick my face and have me play with him.
- My closest friends... For friends i talk to everyday and the ones i talk to barely ever. The knowledge that i have 10 people in the world with whom there is no such thing as lost time.
Wednesday, August 18, 2010
Tuesday, July 06, 2010
Try This India
3rd of July, 2010
I woke up late (9 am) on this day. And in an hour's time, I was the owner of a domain name called "trythisindia.org".
How it started:
In a recent discussion with Ree, we talked about several ideas that would make life better for someone other than ourselves.
One of the ideas i had was to connect orphanages and old age homes and make the most of the potential that has to offer. There is a clear symbiosis there that has likely not been explored enough (Children need to be loved, adults need to love, there is so much an older person could teach to the younger lot, children love to perform and the folks from the old age home would be happy for the entertainment and so on).
I don't know if this connection has been made before - but i believe there is potential in this idea - certainly potential enough to try it.
I thought about this and similar ideas for a lot of that night. I think there are many simple ideas like this that are imminently do-able.
Then there may be the more complex ones that need more man-power and money. My belief is those are do-able too... if there is a forum to garner this support.
What is 'Try This India'...
Try this is meant to be such a forum. It is a forum where ideas and plans that have social relevance can be channeled, where people who like your idea can vote in to it, discuss and plan this idea with you and work with you to give your idea a try.
Small ideas are not only welcome, they are likely to be the main play for this forum. Because the most important thing for an idea to be tried is that the thought of trying does not appear daunting to the do-ers. The requirements should be clear and easy to commit to.
What i would like to do for this group:
Over a period of time, i would like to build awareness around what this group is ... enough awareness so corporates are happy to be associated with it and to sponsor ideas that appeal to them.
Interestingly, sponsorship of ONE idea is actually more than just that - it is the sponsorship of IDEATING. Because if even one idea can be sponspored, then this should mean that there is hope to ideate on bigger and more impactful things, to find sponsorship for these and inshah allah to try them.
Why i started this:
Truly... I started this partly to assuage my guilt about never having done anything useful for anyone but myself.
I am also doing this because i would really like to be a part of something i truly believe in.
So it was between doing 'Try this' and stalking Ranbir Kapoor.
I am led to believe by my husband that stalking is not okay, so 'Try this' it is.
I joke ... Please don't imagine i am trivializing this venture. Not my intention.
What it needs:
This needs time, people and money. I appear to have made the easiest committment so far - i have put in the money required to set this up. I have the domain name (trythisindia.org) for 5 years. (FYI - I have also got the .com, .net and .info free with this.)
All the rest of the hardwork i have not only not done, i have also not thought about when i will do. I am writing about this nonetheless - as a note to myself about the big plans i have for this forum. So i dont forget. And if it does not do anything worthwhile a year later - i feel really really guilty about it.
So long story short - this is the committment (today). I will do my very best to complete the set-up (website etc), and try at least 2 ideas through this forum in the coming 6 months.
I have to say i am really not sure about my ability to contribute enough to make this venture a success. But the work so far has been done with good intentions and in good faith and that is probably a decent start.
I woke up late (9 am) on this day. And in an hour's time, I was the owner of a domain name called "trythisindia.org".
How it started:
In a recent discussion with Ree, we talked about several ideas that would make life better for someone other than ourselves.
One of the ideas i had was to connect orphanages and old age homes and make the most of the potential that has to offer. There is a clear symbiosis there that has likely not been explored enough (Children need to be loved, adults need to love, there is so much an older person could teach to the younger lot, children love to perform and the folks from the old age home would be happy for the entertainment and so on).
I don't know if this connection has been made before - but i believe there is potential in this idea - certainly potential enough to try it.
I thought about this and similar ideas for a lot of that night. I think there are many simple ideas like this that are imminently do-able.
Then there may be the more complex ones that need more man-power and money. My belief is those are do-able too... if there is a forum to garner this support.
What is 'Try This India'...
Try this is meant to be such a forum. It is a forum where ideas and plans that have social relevance can be channeled, where people who like your idea can vote in to it, discuss and plan this idea with you and work with you to give your idea a try.
Small ideas are not only welcome, they are likely to be the main play for this forum. Because the most important thing for an idea to be tried is that the thought of trying does not appear daunting to the do-ers. The requirements should be clear and easy to commit to.
What i would like to do for this group:
Over a period of time, i would like to build awareness around what this group is ... enough awareness so corporates are happy to be associated with it and to sponsor ideas that appeal to them.
Interestingly, sponsorship of ONE idea is actually more than just that - it is the sponsorship of IDEATING. Because if even one idea can be sponspored, then this should mean that there is hope to ideate on bigger and more impactful things, to find sponsorship for these and inshah allah to try them.
Why i started this:
Truly... I started this partly to assuage my guilt about never having done anything useful for anyone but myself.
I am also doing this because i would really like to be a part of something i truly believe in.
So it was between doing 'Try this' and stalking Ranbir Kapoor.
I am led to believe by my husband that stalking is not okay, so 'Try this' it is.
I joke ... Please don't imagine i am trivializing this venture. Not my intention.
What it needs:
This needs time, people and money. I appear to have made the easiest committment so far - i have put in the money required to set this up. I have the domain name (trythisindia.org) for 5 years. (FYI - I have also got the .com, .net and .info free with this.)
All the rest of the hardwork i have not only not done, i have also not thought about when i will do. I am writing about this nonetheless - as a note to myself about the big plans i have for this forum. So i dont forget. And if it does not do anything worthwhile a year later - i feel really really guilty about it.
So long story short - this is the committment (today). I will do my very best to complete the set-up (website etc), and try at least 2 ideas through this forum in the coming 6 months.
I have to say i am really not sure about my ability to contribute enough to make this venture a success. But the work so far has been done with good intentions and in good faith and that is probably a decent start.
Saturday, June 05, 2010
Rajneeti:
This is going to be the kind of review i would not want to read.
If you are among the 3 who visit - know that i will be giving away a fair bit of the story in this blog. The only concession i will make is that i will refer to characters in the movie by their names in the Mahabharat.
I liked:
1. The 1st half. All of it!
2. The take on the 'Mahabharata' and the detailing...
Karna's father is a driver, Krishna's character in the movie is called Brij Gopal,
Krishna drives Arjun to kill Karna, Karna is killed when his car is driven off the road and when he is unarmed.
2. That ALL the characters are grey. There is not a single person in the movie who has not seriously wronged another. For once it has been left entirely up to an audience's sensibility to decide whose side they are on.
No redemption for anyone - not the protagonist (Arjun), not Karan, Not even Krishna.
3. That it tried something quite new in story-telling. Stay with me on this one while i try to explain.
The protagonist is SHOWN doing wrong.
Arjun betrays Duryodhan and goes back on his word. Arjun plays on Draupadi's love. Arjun kills Babu Lal, Duryodhan and then Karna. All this is shown.
The negativity on the part of other ordinarily grey characters though (Duryodhan) is ONLY IMPLIED.
Duryodhan, for example does nothing dramatically wrong in this plot apart from being hot headed and arrogant... And it is only by implication that you know Karan is responsible for Arjun's father's death.
I thought this was fascinating and definitely a first. Not only do you let me pick sides, you also demonstrate the 'greyness' of the protagonist more often than the other side.
And yet i leave the movie thinking - it ended as it should have! Quite Brilliant!
4. The performances. Nana Patekar as Krishna is brilliant. As is Manoj Bajpayee playing Duryodhan! Arjun and Draupadi are also very good.
What didn't work for me:
1. 2nd half. some of it.
2. 'Politics brought out the worst in me' is a stale line and an unimaginative explanation for the mayhem shown.
3. Trying other movie plots just as an experiment.
Sarkar type killing spree. Politicians killing each other in broad daylight - without goons or anything.
And then when the story is sufficiently confused and you don't know how on earth to end this drama... "return of The Mahabharata"
4. Some very avoidable angles from the epic. Since they weren't going by the book anyway - they could have avoided the Kunti-Karna confrontation scene. It was beyond ridiculous! Not to mention an unpleasant flashback to the DD version with dialogues like "tum mere jesht putra ho".
5. The flimsy apology given by Arjun and the easy forgiveness!
All in all though 3.5 from me.
This is going to be the kind of review i would not want to read.
If you are among the 3 who visit - know that i will be giving away a fair bit of the story in this blog. The only concession i will make is that i will refer to characters in the movie by their names in the Mahabharat.
I liked:
1. The 1st half. All of it!
2. The take on the 'Mahabharata' and the detailing...
Karna's father is a driver, Krishna's character in the movie is called Brij Gopal,
Krishna drives Arjun to kill Karna, Karna is killed when his car is driven off the road and when he is unarmed.
2. That ALL the characters are grey. There is not a single person in the movie who has not seriously wronged another. For once it has been left entirely up to an audience's sensibility to decide whose side they are on.
No redemption for anyone - not the protagonist (Arjun), not Karan, Not even Krishna.
3. That it tried something quite new in story-telling. Stay with me on this one while i try to explain.
The protagonist is SHOWN doing wrong.
Arjun betrays Duryodhan and goes back on his word. Arjun plays on Draupadi's love. Arjun kills Babu Lal, Duryodhan and then Karna. All this is shown.
The negativity on the part of other ordinarily grey characters though (Duryodhan) is ONLY IMPLIED.
Duryodhan, for example does nothing dramatically wrong in this plot apart from being hot headed and arrogant... And it is only by implication that you know Karan is responsible for Arjun's father's death.
I thought this was fascinating and definitely a first. Not only do you let me pick sides, you also demonstrate the 'greyness' of the protagonist more often than the other side.
And yet i leave the movie thinking - it ended as it should have! Quite Brilliant!
4. The performances. Nana Patekar as Krishna is brilliant. As is Manoj Bajpayee playing Duryodhan! Arjun and Draupadi are also very good.
What didn't work for me:
1. 2nd half. some of it.
2. 'Politics brought out the worst in me' is a stale line and an unimaginative explanation for the mayhem shown.
3. Trying other movie plots just as an experiment.
Sarkar type killing spree. Politicians killing each other in broad daylight - without goons or anything.
And then when the story is sufficiently confused and you don't know how on earth to end this drama... "return of The Mahabharata"
4. Some very avoidable angles from the epic. Since they weren't going by the book anyway - they could have avoided the Kunti-Karna confrontation scene. It was beyond ridiculous! Not to mention an unpleasant flashback to the DD version with dialogues like "tum mere jesht putra ho".
5. The flimsy apology given by Arjun and the easy forgiveness!
All in all though 3.5 from me.
Wednesday, June 02, 2010
Wednesday, May 12, 2010
Wednesday, April 21, 2010
I am always struck by how much people will do for you - even if they don't know you. Perhaps especially if they don't know you... The people you expect the least from :
- The Israeli girl with the child in her arms waiting in queue with you for a transit visa will fight for your cause with the airport police. Knowing nothing of German like yourself but fighting nonetheless for a complete stranger who is probably in a better position than she is.
- The Egyptian lady will give you the other half of her adaptor because she discovers that you have got an adaptor that while it has the right kind of holes - fits NOTHING... Give, mind you - not lend.
- The Sardarji uncle who knows some German but not nearly as much either of us had hoped will stand with you parking his luggage, his wife and his children and asking them to "Shush" while he reads German notices slowly explaining what he can to me...
On other journeys:
- The conductor from a Mumbai bus who asked me to tell the American girl next to me about the bus timings and then bought coffee for both of us , refusing to take money. He bought it for her because she was a guest and he bought it for me .. JUST.
- The sub-inspector in a Mumbai bus who walked with me from a bus stand to railway station just to show me the way. And when i had reached went all the way back to the bus stand but not without telling me to 'Take care and Be Safe' and giving his card in case i ran in to trouble.
- and so many many more...
My wallet has many such cards and tissue papers with numbers and email addresses of people like these... who I will never call or mail.
But they are the reason for my sigh of relief at a crazy airport and for my resolute confidence that i will absolutely and surely Be Okay!
- The Israeli girl with the child in her arms waiting in queue with you for a transit visa will fight for your cause with the airport police. Knowing nothing of German like yourself but fighting nonetheless for a complete stranger who is probably in a better position than she is.
- The Egyptian lady will give you the other half of her adaptor because she discovers that you have got an adaptor that while it has the right kind of holes - fits NOTHING... Give, mind you - not lend.
- The Sardarji uncle who knows some German but not nearly as much either of us had hoped will stand with you parking his luggage, his wife and his children and asking them to "Shush" while he reads German notices slowly explaining what he can to me...
On other journeys:
- The conductor from a Mumbai bus who asked me to tell the American girl next to me about the bus timings and then bought coffee for both of us , refusing to take money. He bought it for her because she was a guest and he bought it for me .. JUST.
- The sub-inspector in a Mumbai bus who walked with me from a bus stand to railway station just to show me the way. And when i had reached went all the way back to the bus stand but not without telling me to 'Take care and Be Safe' and giving his card in case i ran in to trouble.
- and so many many more...
My wallet has many such cards and tissue papers with numbers and email addresses of people like these... who I will never call or mail.
But they are the reason for my sigh of relief at a crazy airport and for my resolute confidence that i will absolutely and surely Be Okay!
No one needs to know.
- I ate quail awkwardly wondering if the bird would fly out of my plate while i was trying to cut it.
- I got in to the bus not knowing how and who to give the cash to so stood around staring for a bit.
- I gave out a 2 cents instead of 20 (why make 2 cent coins anyway)
- I sweated while eating at the Marriott coz for some reason there were no prices and i didnt know how expensive and i was to embarassed to leave.
- I almost got stuck outside the train door because i just about made it in time.
- I can often not understand what people are saying in calls because of their accent
- I said inappropriate things about the German airport authority to a German person
- I have no idea if they like me - and i am always wondering why they are smiling... like that!
- I ate quail awkwardly wondering if the bird would fly out of my plate while i was trying to cut it.
- I got in to the bus not knowing how and who to give the cash to so stood around staring for a bit.
- I gave out a 2 cents instead of 20 (why make 2 cent coins anyway)
- I sweated while eating at the Marriott coz for some reason there were no prices and i didnt know how expensive and i was to embarassed to leave.
- I almost got stuck outside the train door because i just about made it in time.
- I can often not understand what people are saying in calls because of their accent
- I said inappropriate things about the German airport authority to a German person
- I have no idea if they like me - and i am always wondering why they are smiling... like that!
1st time i ever took an international flight was on my way from India to NY..
The BA flight circled around a Bit, had one of its wings hit one of those big ladder things, and then they canceled that flight because of fuel leakage.
The Dubai trip was un-eventful. I think thats coz J's good luck canceled my bad luck.
Now this time on my way to US - a volcano has erupted in iceland which is causing chaos in Europe.. so of course thats where i am - Europe.. with all the chaos!
The BA flight circled around a Bit, had one of its wings hit one of those big ladder things, and then they canceled that flight because of fuel leakage.
The Dubai trip was un-eventful. I think thats coz J's good luck canceled my bad luck.
Now this time on my way to US - a volcano has erupted in iceland which is causing chaos in Europe.. so of course thats where i am - Europe.. with all the chaos!
Friday, February 26, 2010
Tuesday, February 09, 2010
Friday, January 01, 2010
I watched 3 idiots.. the same movie the whole country is raving about (box office results as of 28th Dec: 100 crores). Huge hit clearly!
Why this movie did'nt work for me:
1) Aamir Khan (THE Aamir Khan - the man i love and wrote love letters to when i was in the 8th standard) hammed his way through this!
2) This is Taare Zameen Pe (TZP) Part 2, begging parents not to kill their kids in the race and to recognise that each child has something else .. blah blah. Did i mention too preachy.
3) It was so so predictable
3a) Remember this scene: Kareena Kapoor character (KKC): "Are you married?",
Aamir Khan's character (AKC): "No";
KKC: "Do you love someone?"
AKC: "Yes"..
(silence and everyone is expected to hold their breath)
AKC says. "Tumse".
Seriously! And you didn't see that one!!!
4) They really had to go and do the Five point someone Engineering thing... and the flood thing... AND the delivery scene ... AND the runaway bride thing. Stop already!
5) Lets go kill that Chatur guy.
6) I have a problem with jokes on crap, fart, poop etc etc.. and by my standards this was an OD.
Very long 3 hours for me.
p.s.: i'm with chetan bhagat - not enough credit given to the author of the original story.
Why this movie did'nt work for me:
1) Aamir Khan (THE Aamir Khan - the man i love and wrote love letters to when i was in the 8th standard) hammed his way through this!
2) This is Taare Zameen Pe (TZP) Part 2, begging parents not to kill their kids in the race and to recognise that each child has something else .. blah blah. Did i mention too preachy.
3) It was so so predictable
3a) Remember this scene: Kareena Kapoor character (KKC): "Are you married?",
Aamir Khan's character (AKC): "No";
KKC: "Do you love someone?"
AKC: "Yes"..
(silence and everyone is expected to hold their breath)
AKC says. "Tumse".
Seriously! And you didn't see that one!!!
4) They really had to go and do the Five point someone Engineering thing... and the flood thing... AND the delivery scene ... AND the runaway bride thing. Stop already!
5) Lets go kill that Chatur guy.
6) I have a problem with jokes on crap, fart, poop etc etc.. and by my standards this was an OD.
Very long 3 hours for me.
p.s.: i'm with chetan bhagat - not enough credit given to the author of the original story.
Thursday, December 17, 2009
Why i liked rocket singh...
They had their research on Sales pit-pat... And that was refreshing.. That you took the trouble to understand and then tell me the story and didn't just shove absurb, bizarro fantasies you have my way.
Can you imagine how this would have turned out if Madhur Bhandarkar had made it - given his penchant for making vertical focused movies.
He would have called it "Sales" for starters, and then shown the salesman sleep with all the customers to get the business and then i am guessing something about him becoming the biggest salesman in the country and how that gets to his head and how he ruins it all! something along those lines. Trust me.
Rocket Singh took Ranbir Kapoor's biggest asset (his face) and covered it with a beard and a paggdi and said "now go deliver" ... and he did!
What i didn't like... the curse of the 2nd half i would like to call it.
Stretched a bit too much and got quite preachy in the last few scenes.
But all-in-all, good watch. 3.5 stars from me.
They had their research on Sales pit-pat... And that was refreshing.. That you took the trouble to understand and then tell me the story and didn't just shove absurb, bizarro fantasies you have my way.
Can you imagine how this would have turned out if Madhur Bhandarkar had made it - given his penchant for making vertical focused movies.
He would have called it "Sales" for starters, and then shown the salesman sleep with all the customers to get the business and then i am guessing something about him becoming the biggest salesman in the country and how that gets to his head and how he ruins it all! something along those lines. Trust me.
Rocket Singh took Ranbir Kapoor's biggest asset (his face) and covered it with a beard and a paggdi and said "now go deliver" ... and he did!
What i didn't like... the curse of the 2nd half i would like to call it.
Stretched a bit too much and got quite preachy in the last few scenes.
But all-in-all, good watch. 3.5 stars from me.
Monday, December 07, 2009
I went to Dubai for my 1st phorren vacation.
And No, the week long NY trip i took early last year does not count
because ...
a) it was for work
b) i had NO money
c) i almost froze and died... and surviving near-death experiences does not a vacation make. Fair?
Anyway, this trip was so so different..
i was with family, i had a longish break, the weather was just the kind i can handle (hot and humid). All in all.. great!
Also i had some money....
soo i did shopping-ish things...
soo now i have to say, "i used to have money".
Dubai is very different from what i expected it to be.
The way my brother made it sound, i thought it would be teeming with malayali 'somewhat-relatives' type people who you never even wanted to meet "back home" (Ha, there i said it.. THE ultimate ex-pat phrase)...
Not true though! Its a super large city filled with superlative things... literally. Tallest building, biggest fountain, largest flag, largest LCD display.
If it does not have an EST attached to it - tis not worth the Arab's time.
(fingers crossed that the recent crash is not the largEST).
But seriously. Great holiday spot... (limited experience but still!)
And No, the week long NY trip i took early last year does not count
because ...
a) it was for work
b) i had NO money
c) i almost froze and died... and surviving near-death experiences does not a vacation make. Fair?
Anyway, this trip was so so different..
i was with family, i had a longish break, the weather was just the kind i can handle (hot and humid). All in all.. great!
Also i had some money....
soo i did shopping-ish things...
soo now i have to say, "i used to have money".
Dubai is very different from what i expected it to be.
The way my brother made it sound, i thought it would be teeming with malayali 'somewhat-relatives' type people who you never even wanted to meet "back home" (Ha, there i said it.. THE ultimate ex-pat phrase)...
Not true though! Its a super large city filled with superlative things... literally. Tallest building, biggest fountain, largest flag, largest LCD display.
If it does not have an EST attached to it - tis not worth the Arab's time.
(fingers crossed that the recent crash is not the largEST).
But seriously. Great holiday spot... (limited experience but still!)
Wednesday, September 09, 2009
Friday, September 04, 2009
Monday, August 31, 2009
Tuesday, August 25, 2009
My dear dear J,
Yesterday was our 2 year "Proposal anniversary"
(I wonder if other people also have anniversaries like that)
My guess is that your memory of that night can't be very nice, thanks to my very freaked out reaction to the proposal. I am sorry for that.
You should know though that i had the most incredible experience that night,
Something i never expected to happen to me - did.
Someone i loved asked me to marry him...
& not just asked, mind you - asked on bended knee, with a ring and wine ...
Thank you baby for making my memory of the proposal so so special.
In the last year of being married, we have been through 3 trials (i think we have consensus on this) and dealt with it better than okay...
and even though the miscarriage is only a week old (i have decided that its okay to talk about this), i still recognise that while i would rather have had things work out differently, now that they haven't, i am only grateful that i am dealing with this situation with you.
So j-boy... 2 and something years of being with each other, and 1 year of marriage later, i know today what a good decision i made 25th Aug 2007, when i said "YES".
With All My love,
A
-----------------------------------------------------------------
p.s.: don't worry about this being a public forum. only 4 people visit...
and they'll be okay with anything. Trust me.
Yesterday was our 2 year "Proposal anniversary"
(I wonder if other people also have anniversaries like that)
My guess is that your memory of that night can't be very nice, thanks to my very freaked out reaction to the proposal. I am sorry for that.
You should know though that i had the most incredible experience that night,
Something i never expected to happen to me - did.
Someone i loved asked me to marry him...
& not just asked, mind you - asked on bended knee, with a ring and wine ...
Thank you baby for making my memory of the proposal so so special.
In the last year of being married, we have been through 3 trials (i think we have consensus on this) and dealt with it better than okay...
and even though the miscarriage is only a week old (i have decided that its okay to talk about this), i still recognise that while i would rather have had things work out differently, now that they haven't, i am only grateful that i am dealing with this situation with you.
So j-boy... 2 and something years of being with each other, and 1 year of marriage later, i know today what a good decision i made 25th Aug 2007, when i said "YES".
With All My love,
A
-----------------------------------------------------------------
p.s.: don't worry about this being a public forum. only 4 people visit...
and they'll be okay with anything. Trust me.
Friday, August 21, 2009
i take longer to put detergent in the washing machine,
longer to hang clothes - clipping each item to the clothes line with more care thean i normally would
i take a bath slowly, trying to get cleaner than i normally would
apply more cream and more patiently than i normally would..
is your life also slower & more careful when you are sad? like you just could not afford to be careless with any task.
longer to hang clothes - clipping each item to the clothes line with more care thean i normally would
i take a bath slowly, trying to get cleaner than i normally would
apply more cream and more patiently than i normally would..
is your life also slower & more careful when you are sad? like you just could not afford to be careless with any task.
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