Thursday, March 15, 2012


Isn't she a doll. She fell down and her teeth cut in to her tongue.. so freaking scary. she is okay now though.

Sunday, March 11, 2012

Theatre debut and such like

Diary notes so i dont forget.
I directed 3 short plays (10 minutes each) in the last 1 month. The first was a play called "Meet cute" and was showcased at the Short and Sweet Theatre festival in Bangalore. That was the first time Short and sweet is being hosted in Bangalore - its origins are in Australia and it has been hosted also in Malaysia, Singapore, Dubai, Chennai, Delhi and now in Bangalore.
The other 2 were for Evam's 'First Rush' batch. First Rush is an acting workshop whic Evam runs for people who are interested in giving acting in drama a shot. At the end of the workshop they get to be part of a production. So as part of that production, i directed 2 plays - 'Floored' and 'The Pillow'.

All of it was such great fun. No big promises - just.. I will try and do more.

Saturday, March 03, 2012

Revisiting Rockstar

I watched Rockstar again today. Actually that’s again and again. The DVD has just released and I watched it once with documentary from Imitiaz Ali and Ranbir Kapoor and once without.

This is late for a review but I had to write this anyway because this movie is special. So let me not call this a review – it is an ode to a film that has shaken me up every time I have watched it. I’ve been thinking about why that is –What is it about this movie? I am not completely sure yet… I don’t think it’s a movie you connect with because you relate to the characters or a movie that brings back memories.
You may or may not have been part of a love like this or a journey like theirs but this is movie unfailingly reaches out to a space within you and not only makes you feel everything that Jordan and Heer must have felt but makes you imagine that you have been through it with them – all their heartbreak, pain and overwhelming emotion becomes yours. And here is my salute to Ranbir Kapoor and Imtiaz Ali for making that happen. Very early in the movie when you see Janardhan getting advise from Khattara-bhai on how to become successful and the necessary pain you must feel to get there you make a connection to this “halka aadmi”. From there his journey becomes your journey.. all of it - his failed attempts at impressing a girl he is not even interested in, his friendship with a girl so out of his league, his inability to grasp how ahead of him his emotions have gotten and his overwhelming all consuming love.

I think the greatest disservice done to this movie was its title, leading you to probably believe what I did before I watched it – that it would be about a Rockstar’s journey from being a nobody to fame to the expected final debacle, with alcohol and drug abuse thrown in for good measure. Rockstar is about a journey but thankfully not the journey I described above but a far more real journey… The journey of a boy who does not even like drinking – he only pretends to drink throwing a little alcohol on his face and collar and then acting drunk. This endearing confession in the beginning of the movie - cut to – the latter half of the movie where Jordan is drinking from a hip flask and throwing up at parties.
For me ‘Rockstar’ was all about these transformations.
A boy who has nothing to complain about, who doesn’t know the meaning of pain to a man who has been thrown out of his home, lost the only person who he is “set” with and whose pain becomes the anthem of a generation.

And Oh the music! Nothing has played on my mind more than this set of songs – they are songs that have lifted me, flared me up and soothed me. Never has music played such a role in telling a story in Indian Cinema before. God Bless AR Rehman and in some of these songs – truly, God is AR Rehman.

For me the most beautiful moments in the movie were - the moment in Kashmir before the wedding when Heer asks Janardhan to hug her and insists that he really hug her, the conversation on the day of the wedding when Heer answers a question even before he asks it, and then leaves it hanging when he does ask it. The moment when he meets her in Prague and asks her to come with him, she says a lot of things about her health but he already knows she is meant to come with him and come she will. The foresight of experience when Shammi Kapoor’s character sees Jordan and recognizes him for what he is – a bada janwar, who will not be caged in mediocrity and the constraints of society. The meeting after she comes back to India and admits that all she wants is to be hugged by him – I have to say truly, the hugs were so beautiful and so much more spectacular than even the kisses… The hospital scene.. and so many more.

This movie was special also for the little little touches that make a movie stand out -> the orange rockstar sweater in the 1st half, the powder on Khattara bhai’s neck, the beautiful authentic Kashmiri wedding. All so beautifully done!

And Imtiyaz Ali, what a stroke of genius to come up with a story that has such a remarkable ironic touch to it. Jordan is her medicine with his magic touch but he is also her illness. His love will make her feel life and also cause her death.

But I have to admit, I wished for more. I really wanted one cathartic moment when Jordan breaks down and weeps for all that he has lost. Some may feel like this would be too much but for me the build-up of this angst that Jordan was going through was too much, I would have loved for a moment of release for this character (and for us). Also this is clearly pain that will bring you to your knees and I would have liked to see that happen physically to Jordan.

I know a lot of people who didn’t like the movie and really didn’t see what the big deal was – and then there were others like me who were just in love with the movie and everything it made them feel. In that sense, this is a true cult movie – you may / may not have a hit but you have created a very loyal fan base. It’s a movie I want to watch again and again and always privately – because of how exposed parts of it make you feel. I am still on a mini journey of my own discovering things about the movie and the music.

(Back to viewing the Bonus DVD now.)

Friday, August 05, 2011

GIRL INTERRUPTED...

Susanna: I'm ambivalent. In fact that's my new favorite word.
Dr. Wick: Do you know what that means, ambivalence?
Susanna: I don't care.
Dr. Wick: If it's your favorite word, I would've thought you would...
Susanna: It *means* I don't care. That's what it means.
Dr. Wick: On the contrary, Susanna. Ambivalence suggests strong feelings... in opposition. The prefix, as in "ambidextrous," means "both." The rest of it, in Latin, means "vigor." The word suggests that you are torn... between two opposing courses of action.
Susanna: Will I stay or will I go?
Dr. Wick: Am I sane... or, am I crazy?
Susanna: Those aren't courses of action.
Dr. Wick: They can be, dear - for some.

How Knot to Sleep

Something happened. Or will.
I am anxious, fearful, nervous - all at once. Like before a presentation.
Like before a presentation that you know in the pit of your stomach will not go well.

And that's just it - somewhere between pit of the stomach and center of the chest there is what seems like the weight of the world.

Mornings are the worst. About 4.30 am or so, i wake up without wanting to.
And then there is no going back. I know almost before the thought has entered my head that it will... and even before the thought kicks in - my body obliges with the knot in the stomach and the hammering of the heart.
It's all downhill from there.

I can cover my head with the blanket all i want but now that the thought has entered the head - there is apparently no covering it again. I can toss - turn, wake up, drink water... it will not help.
The knot and the hammering will stay... sometimes picking up pace, sometimes dropping - but always there. Now that it has come - it will run its course ending only about mid-afternoon.
Quiet and peace then till we do all of this again the next morning.

GINGERLY

It has been long and a lot has changed.
No. That is incorrect - a lot has happened, nothing has changed.

Good things and bad things have happend, some exploration, some travel and a lott of thinking as well.

The thinking is what i think has done me in. I have more thinking to do tomorrow.
I was telling R the other day - multi-tasking is not my forte.. so while i think and dwell and wonder - i have really let a lot of life and what i really want pass me by.
I must stop now..

I am trying to articulate how i feel .. and the only word coming to mind is ... gingerly. How very random.

Monday, January 03, 2011

Wednesday, December 22, 2010

Making of "The Arabian Nights"



King Shahryar discovering his wife's infidelity has her executed, but in his bitterness decides that all women are the same. He begins to marry a succession of virgins only to execute each one the next morning, before they have a chance to dishonour him.

The vizier whose duty it is to provide these virgins to him each night quickly runs out of supply (Surprise). Scheherazade, the vizier's daughter, to rescue her father from execution - offers herself as the next bride and her father reluctantly agrees.
(Note to self: This is not clear. Because reluctantly hi sahi, her father agreeing to the daughter giving herself up implies that he either (a) thinks his daughter is very bright and can save her own neck. Knowing fathers, we know this is not even possible or (b) he is okay for her to get herself killed. because he figures that if she is a virgin at 40, she should kill herself anyway (somewhat more likely option)

On the night of their marriage, Scheherazade begins to tell her first story in a valiant attempt to save herself from execution. She wisely tells him only a part of the tale and strategically gets to the suspense part of the story only close to day-break... the king eager to hear how the prince and the princess of the story meet postpones her execution.
(This is also where all saas-bahu serials have got the inspiration to close the hour with accident scenes (did they kill off the hero?), a husband's hand raised in the air (will the otherwise loving husband slap his wife? and the like)

The next night, as soon as she finishes the tale, she begins (and only begins) a new one, and the king, eager to hear the conclusion, postpones her execution once again.

Each night she picks from a wide range of storytelling techniques researched by her(while other pretty girls were busy getting laid) - sequels, trilogies, character detailing. Her best work was undoubtedly 'Ali Baba and the forty thieves' where she spent a night each on each of the forty thieves...no detail too small to be omitted- bathroom habits (more lately used in- atithi tum kab jaaoge), wardrobes (refer 'Veer' for more contemporary use) and so on.

She manages to come up with about 350 not so original stories. But what she lacks in originality, she makes up in technique (this is not true for Madhur Bhandarkar or Sajid Khan or Siddharth Anand or...) because Princess Scheherazade tells these 350 stories for 1,001 ARABIAN NIGHTS.

At the end of the 1001 nights, the king discovers he is in love with his clever wife and would like to stay married to her forever.
-----------
Notes to self:
1) IF not creative, please try to lose virginity to avoid execution
2) In unlikely event of creativity - try not to marry murdering king.

Wednesday, December 08, 2010

I read this in a post by M:


What could my mother be
to yours? What kin my father
to yours anyway? And how
did you and I meet ever?
But in love
Our hearts have mingled
like red earth and pouring rain.

-- Cempulappeyanirar

So so lovely

Tuesday, November 30, 2010

December 1st, 2010

Kyra Rachel Alexander is born. 8:30 am Dubai time (i.e. 10 am IST). 3 kg very tiny baby girl!
You have no idea how happy i am! My brother is a dad, my parents are grandparents and i am an aunt! I have one more person to love, give rib-crushing hugs to and pray for.
On her very 1st day here, i wish Kyra all the happiness she could possibly ask for and then some. And i want her to know (maybe a little later) that I'll be the cool aunt who she can tell anything to and i won't spill my guts everytime i see sofi or acha(much like i was the cool sis when i was growing up with my brother - never telling my parents anything!).
We'll be the best aunt-niece team ever!

Friday, October 01, 2010

The verdict is out. While it is clearly well meaning, it does not in my opinion do justice. I will write more when i have thought it through some more.

Friday, September 17, 2010

I watched Dabangg the day it was released and knew it would be a huge hit!

It was such great fun. Like i said in my text to some of you - i forgot what the movie was about as soon as i got up from the seat but just remembered laughing...
a lot.

Salman Khan is back and that makes me very happy.
I am a recent Salman Khan fan. Not because of the movie but because he gave an interview some time back where he told some badly behaved reporters, "Aggar aap log Salman Khan jaise behave karenge, toh Salman Khan kya karega".
I thought that question alone warranted another fan.

What is brilliant about Dabangg is he is not "catering to the Indian audience's changing sensibilities".
As far as Salman Khan is concerened, "All your sensibilities be damned - that's Aamir Khan's headache. Let's be honest - you are actually just dying to whistle and see my bare chest tear out of a shirt. So let's do this: How about i make a movie with 1 number amma scene, 3 numbers whistle-worthy dialogues, 1 number chest baring scene and 2 numbers scene with the lady. WRAP. Lets see what that delivers..."

AND This is what it did deliver. Dabangg: 47 Crores! (Opening weekend).
Next big hit is 3 Idiots: 38 Crores (Opening weekend).
RESOUNDING HIT!
Will the real super star please stand up.

Wednesday, August 18, 2010

I feel very very tired. I think of this almost constantly through the day and in the middle of the most mundane activities, it will suddenly come to me .."So Tired".

I am going to recount what keeps me going because i think i really need to remember.

- Amma, Appa, Acha and Sofi are fine and love me in the kind of biased, blind-sided way only familes can. And Archie - what can i say, more blind-sided love!

- J. "Just J". Always checking in on me - breakfast, drinking enough water, fresh air... Its wonderful to have someone think about the small things for you.

- The rest of my family - Mummy, Gina and Prashanth - who don't appear to know what to do with all the tiredness but i can see it concerns them. And for their concern and for their not bringing it up - i am grateful.

- Calvin. who doesnt give a rat's ass about me being tried or sleepy or anything.. as long as he gets to lick my face and have me play with him.

- My closest friends... For friends i talk to everyday and the ones i talk to barely ever. The knowledge that i have 10 people in the world with whom there is no such thing as lost time.

Tuesday, July 06, 2010

Try This India

3rd of July, 2010
I woke up late (9 am) on this day. And in an hour's time, I was the owner of a domain name called "trythisindia.org".

How it started:
In a recent discussion with Ree, we talked about several ideas that would make life better for someone other than ourselves.
One of the ideas i had was to connect orphanages and old age homes and make the most of the potential that has to offer. There is a clear symbiosis there that has likely not been explored enough (Children need to be loved, adults need to love, there is so much an older person could teach to the younger lot, children love to perform and the folks from the old age home would be happy for the entertainment and so on).
I don't know if this connection has been made before - but i believe there is potential in this idea - certainly potential enough to try it.

I thought about this and similar ideas for a lot of that night. I think there are many simple ideas like this that are imminently do-able.
Then there may be the more complex ones that need more man-power and money. My belief is those are do-able too... if there is a forum to garner this support.

What is 'Try This India'...
Try this is meant to be such a forum. It is a forum where ideas and plans that have social relevance can be channeled, where people who like your idea can vote in to it, discuss and plan this idea with you and work with you to give your idea a try.
Small ideas are not only welcome, they are likely to be the main play for this forum. Because the most important thing for an idea to be tried is that the thought of trying does not appear daunting to the do-ers. The requirements should be clear and easy to commit to.

What i would like to do for this group:
Over a period of time, i would like to build awareness around what this group is ... enough awareness so corporates are happy to be associated with it and to sponsor ideas that appeal to them.
Interestingly, sponsorship of ONE idea is actually more than just that - it is the sponsorship of IDEATING. Because if even one idea can be sponspored, then this should mean that there is hope to ideate on bigger and more impactful things, to find sponsorship for these and inshah allah to try them.

Why i started this:
Truly... I started this partly to assuage my guilt about never having done anything useful for anyone but myself.
I am also doing this because i would really like to be a part of something i truly believe in.
So it was between doing 'Try this' and stalking Ranbir Kapoor.
I am led to believe by my husband that stalking is not okay, so 'Try this' it is.
I joke ... Please don't imagine i am trivializing this venture. Not my intention.

What it needs:
This needs time, people and money. I appear to have made the easiest committment so far - i have put in the money required to set this up. I have the domain name (trythisindia.org) for 5 years. (FYI - I have also got the .com, .net and .info free with this.)
All the rest of the hardwork i have not only not done, i have also not thought about when i will do. I am writing about this nonetheless - as a note to myself about the big plans i have for this forum. So i dont forget. And if it does not do anything worthwhile a year later - i feel really really guilty about it.

So long story short - this is the committment (today). I will do my very best to complete the set-up (website etc), and try at least 2 ideas through this forum in the coming 6 months.

I have to say i am really not sure about my ability to contribute enough to make this venture a success. But the work so far has been done with good intentions and in good faith and that is probably a decent start.

Saturday, June 05, 2010

Rajneeti:
This is going to be the kind of review i would not want to read.
If you are among the 3 who visit - know that i will be giving away a fair bit of the story in this blog. The only concession i will make is that i will refer to characters in the movie by their names in the Mahabharat.

I liked:
1. The 1st half. All of it!

2. The take on the 'Mahabharata' and the detailing...
Karna's father is a driver, Krishna's character in the movie is called Brij Gopal,
Krishna drives Arjun to kill Karna, Karna is killed when his car is driven off the road and when he is unarmed.

2. That ALL the characters are grey. There is not a single person in the movie who has not seriously wronged another. For once it has been left entirely up to an audience's sensibility to decide whose side they are on.
No redemption for anyone - not the protagonist (Arjun), not Karan, Not even Krishna.

3. That it tried something quite new in story-telling. Stay with me on this one while i try to explain.
The protagonist is SHOWN doing wrong.
Arjun betrays Duryodhan and goes back on his word. Arjun plays on Draupadi's love. Arjun kills Babu Lal, Duryodhan and then Karna. All this is shown.

The negativity on the part of other ordinarily grey characters though (Duryodhan) is ONLY IMPLIED.
Duryodhan, for example does nothing dramatically wrong in this plot apart from being hot headed and arrogant... And it is only by implication that you know Karan is responsible for Arjun's father's death.
I thought this was fascinating and definitely a first. Not only do you let me pick sides, you also demonstrate the 'greyness' of the protagonist more often than the other side.
And yet i leave the movie thinking - it ended as it should have! Quite Brilliant!

4. The performances. Nana Patekar as Krishna is brilliant. As is Manoj Bajpayee playing Duryodhan! Arjun and Draupadi are also very good.

What didn't work for me:
1. 2nd half. some of it.

2. 'Politics brought out the worst in me' is a stale line and an unimaginative explanation for the mayhem shown.

3. Trying other movie plots just as an experiment.
Sarkar type killing spree. Politicians killing each other in broad daylight - without goons or anything.
And then when the story is sufficiently confused and you don't know how on earth to end this drama... "return of The Mahabharata"

4. Some very avoidable angles from the epic. Since they weren't going by the book anyway - they could have avoided the Kunti-Karna confrontation scene. It was beyond ridiculous! Not to mention an unpleasant flashback to the DD version with dialogues like "tum mere jesht putra ho".

5. The flimsy apology given by Arjun and the easy forgiveness!

All in all though 3.5 from me.

Wednesday, June 02, 2010

4 draft mails in my inbox - Incomplete
At least 2 wordpad letters - Incomplete
1 movie script - Incomplete
1 script for urban turban - Incomplete

All the things i care about! INCOMPLETE!
How can it be?